About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
