It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
