i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
