We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
