Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
