Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
