Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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