I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
