you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
