the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
