Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
