therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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