More tranny stories later!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
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