hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
