I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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