I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he fucked my hip out of place.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
