It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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