i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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