help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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