how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
