It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you would pick up someone in the library
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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