I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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