i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
