OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
