just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
