if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just had sex on a roof
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
