The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
