pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
