Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
