Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
