Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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