she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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