I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
