Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
its not stalking. its research.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
