you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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