moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
