those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
