none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
