Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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