she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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