We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
