I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
