and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
