my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
