let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
