Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
