the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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