if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
