so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
