Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
