Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
