I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
