I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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