if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
