all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
