if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
