i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
