you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
