If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He shit in the fireplace
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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