forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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