so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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